Venting, Comments

I'm in my 120s now and finally officially beyond going back to the 130s. I also found out I'm actually a size 3 or 4 (US women), not a size 9 or 10 (US women.)

The past three days: 129.8, 129.2, 128.4... feels good man. Also, I only realized my new size because a few people asked how I could be 130lbs and a size 9 (US women). Most of my clothes are size 9 to 11 and I didn't want to go shopping for new clothes until I hit under 120, but I bought two pairs of pants since I was so curious (and excited when I fit in a 4!) 3 works if I want them painted on, 4 fits comfortably... but today isn't about that. Today is a day to vent.

Oh, the people (who probably stumble across my blog via some search engine) deciding to read a post or two and then leave an essay of a comment implying how uninformed and stupid I am. I had three of them waiting for me today. I probably reject one or two comments like that per post.

Seriously? Really? You're going to write me a novel when you haven't even read a majority of what I have to write? You're going to tell me what kind of person I am, judge my quality of life and assume what perceptions I have of myself all in one go? I don't accept or respond to most comments like that, but every once in a while I just have to because the way they're worded really begs for a response.

I assume that people who pass by and imply that I'm mentally disabled don't frequent my blog. I know I wouldn't keep coming back to read about someone who I think is absurd, but on the off chance that someone would (for some reason) revisit something they supposedly think is so void of knowledge... here and there you will find a response from me to you. I guess I should congratulate you. Your command of the English language has fascinated me enough to elicit a reaction.

I've avoided posting these details because I try to keep myself as anonymous as possible, but I've had more than one jerk assume that I'm a high-school dropout. (What kind of connection do eating disorders have to dropouts? Hell if I know, maybe I'll do research later.) I'm a senior at USC. My major is Linguistic Anthropology. It sure isn't a medical degree, but it is a science that has a ton of prerequisites involving how the human body functions since anthropology is, in essence, the study of human culture. That means that you need to understand humans at a biological level first.

As I have stated many times now, I am doing this out of research. I want to understand exactly how this works, what causes it, what it feels like, what it looks like, what it makes me think about, how it affects my life - there are a million things I'm discovering as I go along. It'll be something great to write about when I document enough about it. It's a pretty drastic approach - I know, people tell me everyday - but it's been a wonderful experience so far and I wouldn't change it. If I lose some weight along the way, great - if I gain it all back then not much has changed, has it? "You started with nothing, you've gone back to nothing. What've you lost? Nothing!" Thanks, Monty Python.

And guess what? My research so far has surprised me. I haven't experienced any of the negative "urban legend" type symptoms that I find online. (Hair loss, excess hair growth, bad breath, gas, etc.) In fact, I feel better. (Details about that will surely come in later posts.) As I've said before, there is a major difference between voluntarily starving yourself among the support system of family and friends in a comfortable environment... and being forced to starve in a hostile environment... but that's all part of what I want to know. It's great, I'm learning tons about it.

The first comment response is super tiny because it's so long.

Anonymous: I love how you point out that I would be depriving my body of nutrients. Heaven forbid a person who is trying to starve does that... also, when did I say that it was NORMAL to eat 300 calories a day? I'm insulted that you think I'm that misinformed. I don't think there's anyone in the eating disorder community who could honestly say that 300 calories is what the AVERAGE person eats. No, the obese people who make up a majority of my local population consume at least 10 times that amount.

If what you see here frightens you, then why are you sticking around? If you think that comment was neat, you should see the other things people say to me. At least you and her were civil, and that's why I bothered to reply to your comments instead of just rejecting them and moving on.

I'm sorry to say it, but this made me laugh: "If starving yourself was an efficient way to lose weight, everyone would do it." "What never ceases to confuse me is how you can possibly think that this would work." "What is even more frightening is how other people on this blog are agreeing with you." Has it not worked? Am I not losing weight? Don't you think people are agreeing because they've tried it too and it works? Maybe it's not healthy or "smart," but it gets you results. There are far worse things in this world than restricting the amount of calories you have in a day.

I never ever, not even ONCE, talked about maintaining my ultimate goal weight. In fact, I've mentioned several times that I can't wait to get there and complete my experiment so I can return to a weight that I think is healthy and attractive. So I'll just ignore those paragraphs because I don't know what made you decide to lecture me about the topic.

I never said you were wrong. But I do think it's awkward of you to march in here, tell me that I'm "a self-righteous yet misinformed individual" that will "[wreck] my body" because I think "all the nutritionists and dietitians are wrong." Especially when it's painfully apparent that you haven't read any of my original posts and you sure as hell didn't get here from my university page.

PrettyWreck: At your request, I've put up the followers option! I've taken it up and put it down lots of times, but this time it is here to stay. (: Haha, I think it's great that so many people commented about the RMR! I browsed around some sites and found out that it is more around 1,500 calories which just makes me happier! Thanks so much for the help.

Zoe: I'll try! Thank you for all the support. I really appreciate it. I think at the very least I'll try to do some thinspiration here and there even if I don't have any other content to post with. O:

Willow: I agree with you! It's like the only diet soda that I can tolerate. All the other ones have a really weird aftertaste or they don't taste like the non-diet flavor at all.

I still mean it when I say "all comments are welcome." It's good to have someone to argue with every once in a while. [: I need to get used to it. Thinspo is to come in future posts! Stay strong, everyone!