Halloween Goal

While making some layout changes I happened to look over my older blog entries. It made me think of other sites that I've seen. I recollected all the stories that I had read, all the lives I had peeked into, all the similar situations...

No. No. NO.

This sounds so cruel but I can't be like them! I have seen countless stories like mine: I was doing so well in the beginning. I went from 175lbs / 79.5kg to 120lbs / 54.4kg in about four months.

But then the weight loss stopped. The dream diverged. I've been bouncing between 110lbs / 49kg and 120lbs / 54kg ever since then.

At Halloween last year I was very pleased to reach 130lbs. It's almost Halloween again and I am 118.8lbs. Has it really been an entire year and I've only lost 10lbs / 5kg? This is not happening. This can't be.

This is unsatisfactory. All the suffering I put myself through? All the events I dodged? It's was all for naught now because suddenly my path has been clearly laid out before me. I have no one to blame but myself.

Halloween is not only my second favorite holiday (Christmas is number one) - it's also my birthday. I need this more than anything. I deserve a present from myself that no one else can give me. I want to finally reach my long term goal. I need to be 99lbs.

I'm going to set a very strict limit of 310 calories per day. According to all the calculators and math equations I've slaved over, this is the maximum amount I can have while doing NO physical activity in order to reach my goal in time. If I eat more than that I have no choice but to burn it off. I can't subtract from future days. I have to do the exercise. There will be no excuses this time around.

I've never been more happy to be upset. At least I won't feel sad again until my anger cools down. Cheese and rice... I've been sad for almost three weeks straight. This feeling has got to go. :/

Anyone else have a Halloween goal? You have 31 days to make it happen! Give it your best and good luck to you. This might help you.