Friday, February 5, 2010

Hate Mail

This was originally a bulletin post on my MySpace... but it got so many responses that I made it into a blog. I figured I would share the love here as well. [: Click on the image for a full size version.


It's funny because she isn't on my friends list and she never has been. (I also blocked her profile after responding.) So she went out of her way to find me and say that? Someone must have been having a bad day. Pardon me while I break this up systematically. The quality of the message isn't worth my time but I have twenty minutes to spare before I go ice-skating. It'll humor me.

"Youre a fucking retard."
Let's hope not, then there would be more of me running around soon.

"eat you damn twig!"
It's a compliment and an insult all rolled into one. But eating would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it? If I ate you wouldn't have anyone to get mad at and type frustrated e-mails to. I'm doing you a favor.

"i could snap you in two."
I don't doubt that most people could. Thankfully the majority of the human race possesses something called "sanity" that keeps them from doing that.

"just cause you want to be thin doesn't guarantee beauty."
Wanting is never enough. I want to be rich and I don't have a billion dollars either. It's a work in progress. Thanks for the encouragement.

"i think youre ugly as fuck with your knobby ass knees and your bony ass witch nose."
If she got the knees idea from my default (which isn't me), then I don't know where she got the nose from. If she got the nose from pictures of me (where my face is blurred out), then I don't know where she got the knees from (since they're covered in all pictures.) wat is this i don't even.....

"eat some fucking food and stop being a scared bitch."
For the record: I do eat. My intake is just limited in comparison to the average person. Scared is what I used to be. I was scared to be in pictures, scared to wear a dress, scared to take off my baggy hoodie, scared to go to the beach, scared to flirt with a guy, scared to wink at a girl - I was scared because I knew I was always the biggest and fattest one in the group. A few months ago I would not have stood up to someone like you. I would not have had the courage to even finish reading your message. I would've taken whatever you had to say literally and to heart. Today I am not scared. Today I am proud and strong.

"youre killing yourself anyways, calories are your friend."
Calories are my friend because they give me energy to live. I just desire less of them than other people do. Statistically speaking, more people die in car accidents than from all eating disorders combined. They know the risk when they buckle themselves in. Maybe you should start e-mailing everyone who owns a car. That's productive.

"maybe your lack of nutrients made your head stupid."
To the contrary. Studies have shown that a "lack of nutrients" can heighten your sense of awareness and improve concentration. Other studies have proven that there's no difference at all. Minnesota Starvation Experiment, anyone? "The participants reported a decline in concentration, comprehension and judgment capabilities, although the standardized tests administered showed actual signs of increased capacity." In simple terms: they felt dumb but had actually become smarter. Zing.

"grow the fuck up."
I would like to be a bit taller and I haven't figured out how to stop time yet. I think "growing" is inevitable so I'll take your word on it.

"people like you prove my point as to why people are fucking dumb."
People like you prove my point as to why children should pay attention in their English courses. Using words that don't exist? Grammar, syntax? Is it all so beyond you? Burning too many calories by reaching your pinky for that shift key, are we?

"do yourself a favor and eat some chocolate cake!!"
I don't like cake but I may have some chocolate milk later. While I'm being a grammar Nazi I might as well point out that the double punctuation marks have got to stop if you expect anyone to take you seriously in the future. Please note that spaces also go between sentences in the English language. Good day to you.

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