Reverse Thinspo

That number keeps going down. My spirits keep lifting up. Every day I feel better, happier, stronger, better, more beautiful. By tomorrow I should be thinner than I have ever been. I'm getting closer to my goal!

Current weight: 156.0lbs / 70.7kg

Today I had 1/3 cup Special K with Blueberries (35 calories) with 1/4 cup of skim milk (25 calories.) I plan on getting tons of exercise tonight because I'm going to a theme park. I've also been hulahooping like there's no tomorrow. My abs feel amazingly sore and my arms hurt all the time. I still don't feel any loss of energy. In fact, I feel more energized and find myself sleeping less.

I used to easily sleep for 9 hours a day and I'd wake up still feeling lethargic. Sometimes I'd even take a nap in the afternoon. Now I go to bed and wake up six or seven hours later feeling refreshed and awake. My sleeping schedule is pretty much normal again. Maybe it's because by restricting my food consumption I've forced myself to eat healthier. Instead of having fast food all the time I'm eating small portions of fruits and vegetables.

Speaking of which, my friends went to Taco Bell so I got a random combo and sat back in the car with everyone while they ate. I unwrapped everything. I shuffled wrappers around and drank some water. In the midst of conversation I crumpled the wrapper around my uneaten tacos and tossed them in the bag. "I'm hungrier than I thought. Good thing I got the combo instead of just that taco!" No one noticed a thing.

This is the advantage of being a fatass. I used to be 40lbs heavier than I am now and had a huge appetite. I would never pass up a chance to go out and eat. Because of my old eating habits, people don't question the shady things that I do with food today (not that anyone sees any of it.) Even if they did, all I'd have to do is say... "That taco tasted weird. But it's cool, I still have my nachos."

Having a special relationship with food is making me a pretty good liar. :/ I'm not sure how I feel about that. I guess it's all right because in the end I'm only lying to myself.

Thinspo for today will be... things that make you smile! And a lot of reverse thinspo to laugh at.

Thinspo, Vitamins

Yes! Exercise really is helping. I'm trying to find fun ways to do it.

Current weight: 156.4lbs / 70.9kg

I hula hooped forever. Browsing around the internet said you burn around 150 to 200 calories per 30 minutes! That's great because I did it off and on for about three hours. I had no idea how intense it could be. My abs were sore, my legs got all tense, and my arms burned from holding them up in the air. I had a slice of pepperoni pizza (wow! 220 calories!) and a glass of milk (75 calories.) I also walked around the mall for a few hours and ran around an arcade. I felt light headed a few times but no loss of energy.

A while back I said that I'd post about vitamins but I never got around to it. Currently I take vitamin E and a generic multi-vitamin... but I keep reading that certain other things help suppress your appetite and/or increase your metabolism. I promise I will look into this over the next few days and report back!

Thinspo! Theme for today is legs.

Starve on. You're on the way to being beautiful. [:

Thinspo Icons

Just a small update since I'm on break at work right now. I weighed myself before I headed out the door and was pleased with the results. Seems like my new plan is working out pretty well so far! [:

Current weight: 157.4lbs / 71.2kg

Lost almost a pound in a day... not too shabby! Stuck to the exercise and stayed under 500 calories. I had two servings of Arizona Green Tea (180 calories total) and a cup of egg drop soup at the end of my work shift (70 calories.) 250 for the day! Did an hour of yoga in the morning and walked to and from work instead of taking the car (it's about 3 miles each way, so 6 miles total.) I'm feeling accomplished.

At least a pound per day! I can do that! It seems really reasonable now. I'm considering changing my long term goal. My vegetarian roommate brought over a very thin (and beautiful) friend who weighed in at 94lbs (42.6kg). Sadly... that person still seemed unattractive to me from certain angles. I couldn't help but think, "If only you lost a few more pounds! You'd be perfect!" That can't be healthy. I can't believe I'm silently judging people... and so harshly... it genuinely bothers me at some level.

I also have to keep in mind that this person was about two inches shorter than me. Maybe lowering my goal isn't such a good idea. I want to look thin and amazing, not emaciated and ill. I'll give it more thought as I work.

Took me long enough to get around to it, am I right? [; Here it is! Theme for now is icons!

Thinspo

I think I made a new friend today... and in my excitement I never asked for a name. But I just love to jump the gun in that department. This blog isn't supposed to be about that stuff anyway.

To continue on a more personal level, I work in a place where I'm surrounded by food. I'm a waiter, to be more specific. FOOD: I have to write about it, talk about it, touch it, serve it, see it, you name it - I probably do it on the daily. Maybe that's why I have a willpower of steel when it comes to not giving in. I'm used to being around tons of food that will never touch my lips. Worse yet, it's Asian food... my favorite.

At work today one of the other waiters asked if I was hungry when I walked in early for my shift. Without thinking I said, "Yeah! I always am, don't you know?" Before I knew it he was offering me plates of food and insisting I try new things that the owners were thinking about putting on the menu. I snaked my way around it so well that I felt like I deserved an Oscar.

The plates were laid out in a buffet type fashion on the table in front of me. First I pushed the portions around to make it look like a considerable amount had been removed from each plate of food. Then I took bits and pieces of each and smeared them around on my plate. I sat there drinking water and looking like I was busy with the chopsticks for about ten minutes before getting up.

"What'd you think?" Little did he know, I'd spent a long time imaging exactly how each item tasted and what I should say about it. I ranted on about this and that before asking if he wanted my leftovers. When he went back to clear the table I was pleased to hear that I had achieved my desired results: "Wow! You always have a big appetite. You almost finished everything." Flawless victory...

Current weight: 158.2lbs / 71.7kg

Yes, I am also wondering how I'm not losing anything despite staying around 500 calories. I guess I really did hurt my metabolism... and the fact that I do -no- exercise can't be good either. Starting today I'm going to dedicate myself to one hour of yoga and at least two miles of running/jogging/walking. 400 calories should be liquid, 100 to solid food. I realized that food starts to taste way better when you eat less of it. You appreciate everything.

If my body wants a stalemate it's in for a surprise. I need to hit 130 by the time Halloween comes around and I will do it. It also happens to be my birthday and this is the best gift I can give myself. I have a little over a month to lose 28 lbs. That's about 6lbs per week. That's roughly a pound per day.

I went out and bought a scale for myself to motivate me. It cost me about $45.00 USD but it was worth it. I got a super nifty digital one that tracks your starting weight, then shows you how much you've gained or lost since the last time you weighed yourself and since your starting weight. It also glows in the dark. [:

There will be weight updates with every post so I am very much aware of what's happening. That number should never go up. Every time it does, I'm going to do a water fast for 24 hours and then a salt water flush. No exceptions.

Thinspo! Theme for today is... bones. I could use it.










Starve on.

"Supersize vs Superskinny"

Oh gosh. I just came across this show and I'm looking for more. Thought I would share in case anyone is browsing.

Woo! I found some full episodes. I'll embed it for now. THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS SHOW. They do show naked women from the chest up when they do the body comparisons, but there is no full frontal. I'd say it's PG-13.

* The videos I had posted here don't work any more. For a link to episodes that do work, please see my comments! *

Look at how beautiful she is! Starve on. [:

Minnesota Starvation Experiment, Thinspo

There's no weight update for this post since I haven't weighed myself recently. As you may recall, I decided that I'm only going to look at the scale every few days or when I decide to make a change to my eating habits. That way I can really see what works most effectively.

The Minnesota Starvation Experiment can best be summed up as controlled bulimia and anorexia. A group of men were offered the option to participate in a psychological experiment as an alternative to military service. For three months they were allowed to eat normally while their calorie intake and behavior was recorded. Then for the next six months their calorie intake was reduced by half. On average, each man lost 25% of their total body weight. Here are some weight equivalents so you can really picture it...

130 lbs (59 kg) = 97 lbs (43 kg)
150 lbs (68 kg) = 112 lbs (50 kg)
200 lbs (91 kg) = 150 lbs (68 kg)

That means if I were to limit my calories by half, I should be down to 104lbs (47kg) in six months. Know what's sad? I don't think six months is fast enough. Mathematically speaking, if I limit my calorie intake by 75% instead of by 50%... then I should lose 37.5% of my body weight in six months. [ 75 / 50 = x / 25... ] That means I'd be down to around 90lbs in six months. That sounds more reasonable. It means I'd be losing around 9 lbs a month and hit my ultimate goal weight of 99lbs in about three and a half months. Thank you, Mister Ancel Keys (lead investigator of the experiment.) You have done my work for me!

It's also interesting to note that hoarding behaviors were observed in almost all patients. They would become pack-rats that were afraid to throw out anything. I've also read that people say it's hard to concentrate while they're not eating... but check this out: "The participants reported a decline in concentration, comprehension, judgment and general cognitive capabilities, although the standardized tests administered showed no actual signs of diminished capacity."

Same goes for things like your hair falling out. It doesn't happen in cases like that. Maybe it's just something people use to discourage eating disorders? Maybe it only happens to certain individuals and has to do with how your body works? Maybe it only occurs in extreme cases, like the Holocaust where you're faced with fierce emotional and physical consequences?

There's a huge difference between having friends, family, and a nice warm bed while your stomach is empty by choice... versus being forced not to eat combined with hard labor, death all around you, and no sleep. I think most of the effects of starvation that I read about have to do with cases where the people had no choice but to not eat due to circumstances. It's very rare to be able to see what it's like when you do it out of choice and give your body all the other comforts it needs... a nice shower, water, rest and relaxation, etc. I want to keep documenting this as it applies to me. A normal person living a normal life who chooses to abstain from food. What happens?

I'm re-posting this comment response in case it wasn't seen below. I was silly and went back and edited a former response instead of posting a new one. That might be confusing.

cutelittlefangs: Is that so? Well... they say mockery is the sincerest form of flattery! I think I'm maintaining with such a low intake because I jacked up my metabolism badly by relying on fasting too much. That's why I'm trying to stick with at least SOME intake. Do you happen to have MSN? If you don't want the world to know what it is, just let me know and I'll keep the comment private. [:

I've come to realize that eating NOTHING results in quick and easy weight loss for the first few days... but then you grind to a halt and when you start eating again it's like your body absorbs every little scrap. It's because your body has lowered its energy levels as far as it possibly can. It goes into survival mode and slows everything down to a crawl. If you keep eating SOMETHING, then your body doesn't get the signal to cease and desist. I decided I'll fast here and there while keeping it under 300 calories on all the other days.

Now for some symbolic thinspo!











More to come later...